A parent of one of my students invited me to play seven a-side football with him on Monday nights, and having barely kicked a ball during our first year in Thailand I gratefully accepted his invitation.
When we arrived we sat together and waited for the rest of the team, talking politely in our awkward mish-mash of English and Thai. When the others began arriving, I was instantly transported back to the UK, and nearly every seven a-side “meet” I’ve ever been to:
…
Chunky Joker: Did you see about Sterling? He’s gone to Man City
Older Bloke: It’s far too much. Who will Liverpool get do you think?
Chunky Joker: They already have Firmino. Maybe Benteke too.
My Friend: Benteke is too expensive too though. What about United? Schweinstieger and Schneiderlin!
Older Bloke: Schweinsteiger’s too old.
Chunky Bloke: No he isn’t! He won the World Cup last year!
Quiet Bloke: Who does the falang support?
…
That’s me at Seven a-side. I’m the “falang”, Thai for foreigner and the locals’ blanket term for anybody who is white. Sometimes it’s complimentary, sometimes it’s derogatory, and usually it makes you feel a bit strange.
At football it’s particularly strange to hear people basically shouting “foreigner, foreigner” when they want a team mate to mark you, or overhear them asking about you as you wait for the next match.
Playing seven a-side as a cultural outsider is something everybody should do if they have the chance. It’s at once EXACTLY the same as playing in your own country and completely different. The feeling of self-consciousness one usually gets from playing sport, heightened whenever you do anything “good”, or “bad” is amplified even more than usual.
You know everyone is watching you, and you know some of them are desperate for you to succeed, while some want you to embarrass yourself, just because you are different.
I play every Monday and I really enjoy it. Some weeks Chunky Joker even breaks out the beers and we share a can or two. No mishmash conversation required: that’s a gesture one can’t fail to understand.
